I've just created a FB group named "The Pain Posse." A place where young people living with chronic pain can chat, complain and discuss everything that happens in your life as a result of living with chronic pain.
Even if you're not "young" anymore but your pain started when you were young (& probably stole your 20's from you) come and join the group :) Everyone is welcome x
So I've started a job this wk which ticks most of the boxes for a job that won't aggravate my back condition; short hrs, involves a combination of walking, sitting & standing, no lifting required, flexible hrs.
But as a face to face market research interviewer I have this week been sent to bloody random suburbs in the middle of bum fuck nowhere. As you can see below.
Well it seems that whenever I get a remedial massage I leave the appointment feeling good but eventually feel like I've been bashed into a coma.
I come home feeling energised but then my back starts to ache so I lay on my heat mat with the intention on getting up in 20mins when the pain settles down.
10mins later I've fallen into a very deep sleep and am having some crazy ass dreams.
I eventually wake up and 5hrs have passed and I'm like "What year is it??!"
The massage was fairly sore at the time but the way my body responds afterwards is like it's been beaten black & blue & my muscles need an extremely long nap to recover from it.
Mind you this doesn't happen every time I get a remedial massage (thank goodness!) but usually when it's been more than 3 wks since my last one. Solution: somebody design an affordable massage device that ACTUALLY feels like a deep tissue massage so I can get one every wk instead of when I can afford it.
This time every year I seem to end up in the same situation. My Mum finishes teaching for the year and thus spends alot of time milling about the house enjoying the school holidays. The working year is over but what the f"#* she is still in fast mode racing around the house & yelling loudly when she can't find her glasses or "did you take my camera?!!" No I saw you put it on the kitchen bench yesterday...
"Oh."
It causes me a bit of anxiety because I have to make sure that I don't put a single fork out of place. During school time I swan about my day doing as I please when my back allows me to. But as soon as the holidays start I'm on my guard making sure I don't do anything to unsettle the monster that awakes when a cup (full of water that I am drinking out of) has been left on the bench for more than 1 minute or a fan is on when in the middle of December in Brisbane "it's not even hot, turn it off!"
Then I start asking myself; how the hell did I get into this situation? And then I remember that I have a chronic pain condition that limits the type & number of hours that I can successfully work. Which means that I'm poor as shit and don't yet know how I would be able to live in a rental property and still afford to buy food each day...
So I walk quietly to my room; spray some soothing lavendar spray, lye on my heat mat and hope that the next unessessarily loud words that my Mother bellows aren't directed at me.
I am more of a visual person and prefer to use images rather than describing things through words.
So below are two images. The first depicts how I feel when I wake up in the morning and the second depicts how I feel when I realise that after eating some bfast I can take some pain killers that will eventually start to reduce my pain :) Yeaha happy dance!
The other day I felt so stiff and paralysed that I couldn't get myself out of bed til 12:30pm.
I don't know why but every now and then I go to bed feeling relatively pain free and then when morning comes my body feels like it weighs about 200kg. Simply moving my leg a few centimetres takes all of my strength and then I fall straight back to sleep because I also feel incredibly exhausted.
It's almost as if there is an elephant lying on top of me and as much as I want to I just can't move until he decides to get off.
The only reasoning I can think of is that despite my efforts to not sit or stand for long periods & stretch everyday, my muscles have stiffened up to the point that they don't have the strength to pull me out of bed after a good nights rest.
The easiest way to loosen them up & get them working again is to lie on my electric heat mat, but of course when Mr. Elephant is sitting on top of me there's little chance of me being able to sit up and place the mat under my back :s The picture below is me under the elephant (with my ruby red slippers) and of course I had to add a fashion related elephant image underneath.
Why must a rainy or overcast day result in my joints being stiff and my muscles aching (aka a chronic pain flare up)?
I woke up both Saturday & Sunday morning with strong muscle pain and I didn't realise until Sunday afternoon that it was probably because of the weather conditions.
I don't understand how it works exactly but it's freaking annoying. Just because the earth needs some water I have to endure the aches and use all of my willpower to keep my tinman body moving so that I can get things done.
In the future I think all overcast &/or rainy days should be an international rest day for all chronic pain sufferers.
And as Mother Nature delivers the weather she shall also deliver a massage therapist & cup of hot chocolate to each silent sufferer :)
